tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79048281708424469972024-03-19T04:20:37.889-07:00WritingsTesting stuff.Simonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17511368249566166130noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7904828170842446997.post-46183354164458873022012-10-20T11:46:00.000-07:002012-10-27T08:01:21.641-07:00The Trip<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="SV"><b>Chapter One</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="SV"><b>Harry</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw4wdGYzujqtoVJmZeOMxwxoBqbZocO_Bi5YI3H6dFEz-LA4kR0YQveI15yzmClcLv_GHX14t-DxMuq_59_WGK4bar6l8RvemSy3g4yZAXqkkXl9b4aUyWCO2rvfr5NVh-TKydn_q65dg/s1600/desk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw4wdGYzujqtoVJmZeOMxwxoBqbZocO_Bi5YI3H6dFEz-LA4kR0YQveI15yzmClcLv_GHX14t-DxMuq_59_WGK4bar6l8RvemSy3g4yZAXqkkXl9b4aUyWCO2rvfr5NVh-TKydn_q65dg/s400/desk.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV">My sunken pose was a danger. Not only to myself
and my health, but to the company I worked for. I knew it, but there was
absolutely nothing I could do about it. Not even the incessant beat of ”Dance
with Somebody” could move me, streaming from the Spotify-powered loudspeakers
of the monitor; I knew that even nodding my head might prove my undoing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV">As the day had progressed, I had slowly slid
further and further down my chair. Now I was lounging in some sort of
half-lying limbo position, typing away with the keyboard near my chin. This, in
turn, meant that not only was my lower back slowly beginning to develop some
serious pangs of pain, I could also feel my mind drifting more and more by the
minute and my fingers take on a life all of their own, as the blood supply to
the brain was slowly diminishing. I barely managed to stop myself from
uploading an Excel file that would have given our Chinese subcontractors a
12000% pay rise. Yet, I wouldn’t move.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">You’ve moved, Harry! shouted Nick
as he came into the room from his sevent coffee break of the day. Moving over
to me he carefully examined the thin threads that he’d tied to my arms.<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">Oh, OK. I guess you haven’t moved,
he said sullenly. Well, look at the bright side. Only two hours to go and
you’ve completed the challenge!<br /> <o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">I’m beginning to think this
challenge of yours wasn’t such a good idea, I muttered, a muttering that turned
into a groan as I felt myself slip a couple of centimeters further down the
chair.<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">Don’t be like that, Nick sniggered
as he threw himself down in his chair, flicked the monitor on and promptly
picked up his game of Texas Hold’Em where he’d left it. You know you want
tickets to the hockey game, and this, my friend, is the only way I’ll agree to
help you. It’s good to suffer for a cause, you know.<o:p></o:p></span></blockquote>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV">I shook my head and steeled myself. These
were going to be a couple of long hours. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">Hey, that’s interesting, Nick said
while gazing at his computer.<br /> <o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">What is? I asked.<br /> <o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">You remember Joshua, right? Nick
said<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">Yeah, haven’t seen him in ages
though, I groaned. Last time I saw him he was totally wasted on the back of a
pickup truck driving away into the desert. Thought I’d never see him again. Got
a text from him though a couple of days later, something about standing behind
a bar, pouring drinks to strangers with a snake around his neck. Weird guy,
funny though.<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">Well, it look like he’s getting
married, said Nick. To a real stunner. And he wants us to attend. On Saturday.<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">What? I jerked my head in the
direction of Nick’s desk. Too late I realized my mistake, as my carefully
maintained balance on the edge of my chair teetered… and gave way.<o:p></o:p></span></blockquote>
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<span lang="SV">Nick gazed upon the me, a swearing heap of man
that occupied the floor area beneath his co-worker’s desk.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">FUCK! I yelled, as I pulled myself
up from the floor, alternating between holding my head, rubbing my neck and
trying to piece out if my lower back was still in one piece. GODDAMSHITFUCK!<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">Well, Nick said impassionately,
why don’t you just look at the bright side.<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">WHAT FUCKING BRIGHT SIDE! I yelled,
kicking away my chair.<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">Well, you’re not going to go watch
hockey this weekend, Nick smiled. So we’ll go marry off Joshua instead!<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">I will kill you, I said. Some day,
I will kill you.<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">Tut-tut, Nick said. Now clear up
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<span lang="SV"> * * *<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Chapter Two</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nick</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV">I love airplanes. I simply fucking love them. It has nothing to do with any fancy ”oooh we’re traveling 10 kilometers up
in the air!” or ”oooh this was never possible a hundred years ago!” or any sort
of hipster bullshit like that. And it has definitely nothing to do with me wanting to pilot a plane myself. Those mosquito-sized bullshit engines that are more than likely to stall and leave you as a wet mark on the nearest tree trunk? No thanks. </span>No, it’s way simpler.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV">Up in the air in a good sized passenger plane, I’m a paying customer for as
long as my trip takes… and the service providers have nowhere to go. And I
pride myself on being a very, very demanding paying customer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV">It’s not that I enjoy seeing people cringe or
avoid eye contact… OK, it might be a bit of that as well, but mostly it’s about
the feeling of power. I never out-and-out insult anyone, but I know my
rights and what I should be able to expect from my airline of choice… and they
never live up to those expectations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="SV">Like this one, I think, as I gaze on the
stewardess hesitantly moving towards me. Late 20s, blond hair, freckles,
tanned, all in all a fine human specimen. Only thing really false on her is the
smile; having spent two hours in the air with me, she knows nothing good’ll
come from the lit ”Stewardess needed” light above my head.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">Can I help you sir? She asks, that
stiff smile glued professionally to her face.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span lang="SV"> <o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">Well yeah, I smirk, bring me a
glass of water, a pillow, a blanket and an unwrinkled copy of the in-flight
magazine. This one you can throw in the
trash!<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span lang="SV"> </span></blockquote>
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<span lang="SV">I unceremoniously hand her the copy from my
seat, with two barely visible creases on the front page. I deliberately hand it
to her just a little bit too quickly, so that she doesn’t quite manage to catch
it before the end of the rolled-up magazine lightly touches the underside of her breast and softly hits her in her solar
plexus. No one who saw that could say it was deliberate… but she knows it was, and
I know she knows. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span lang="SV"> </span><span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="SV">The water first, I say, still
smirking.</span><span lang="SV"> </span></blockquote>
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<span lang="SV">She nods, that fake smile wavering a bit, and
walks off. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV">Fuck, I love flying.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Chapter Three</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry</b></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfeIqbQx134tKyS-mo2rv4KB28A0ixGQ-bFZbGomSeL15lqdXL0qrQ2WXr10fQCaBMb_OuqHrCntoKZrr7Gdz9xxYt7Ur1XOSb2khG2ard7H5irhpYxPpSm2T0x7a05ODt0ftz9vyoSVA/s1600/plane2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfeIqbQx134tKyS-mo2rv4KB28A0ixGQ-bFZbGomSeL15lqdXL0qrQ2WXr10fQCaBMb_OuqHrCntoKZrr7Gdz9xxYt7Ur1XOSb2khG2ard7H5irhpYxPpSm2T0x7a05ODt0ftz9vyoSVA/s400/plane2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV">My proven tactic had worked yet again; by
going to the toilet just before check-in, and staying for way too long, Nick
had already checked in and wandered off when I got back. I checked in and when
the girl behind the counter mentioned something about putting me in the seat
next to my friend I quickly made clear that the person was in fact not my friend
at all and could she please seat me at least 10 rows from him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="SV">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span lang="SV">You see, he’s kind of a jerk, I
told the girl, who nodded symphatetically.<o:p></o:p></span></blockquote>
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<span lang="SV">Best thing about that? I could direct Nick’s
anger at the airline, as they apparently had been totally unable to process
such a simple request as seating us two together. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV">Now I’m sitting with my iPad trying to get
three stars on level 12 of Bad Piggies, which is extremely difficult. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="SV">THUD! <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV">The plane jumps in the air. My iPad falls to
the floor as my stomach all of a sudden wants to exit through my mouth. Then…
Ooooohhhshhhiiiit! mother of turbulence!, as we free-fall for at least a
kilometer, and<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="SV">THUD!</span></b><span lang="SV"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV">We’re jerked back up again. The fasten
seatbelt signs <b>plonk </b>like crazy.
The captain is on the intercom saying something about turbulence - thank you sir, I think everyone noticed
that turbulence! – but it’s hard to hear with three screaming kids in the rows
near me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV">Fuck, I
think, looking at my seat neighbour, a middle aged woman with eyes big as
saucers. She opens her mouth to tell me something and wooooooo! We’re free
falling again. She screams in my face as I scream in her face and<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="SV">THUD!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="SV">We’re yanked
back. Now it’s the pilot almost shouting through the intercom, and I hear him
saying something about emergency landing. The oxygen mask hit me in the face as
it’s released from the ceiling. I grab onto it just to have something to hang
on to. I feel us going down, rapidly. I close my eyes, my whole body knotting
up in one huge twist as I start praying for the first time in a decade. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Simonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17511368249566166130noreply@blogger.com0